A few weeks ago, I attended the memorial service of my first career mentor. This woman was my mentor, before I knew what it meant to have a career mentor. We worked together for about 26 years. During that time, she hired me twice to work for her. Even in death, she had something to teach me.
I first went to work for Sondrea is 1992. I was running from an uncomfortable situation in my current job and she found me walking the halls in an effort to calm myself down. She invited me into her office where we talked for at least the next 2 hours. I am sure she had other work she should have been doing, but I felt like the most important thing she had to do that afternoon. As luck would have it, she had recently failed a search for a newly created position in her department and she thought I would be perfect for the job. Truth be told, I would have taken any position she could offer. In reality, I was perfect for the job. She needed someone to come in and re-engineer many of the business processes for her department. She needed someone who could look at the work in a totally different way. My complete inexperience in her department business, made me the perfect person for the job. Within 6 weeks she was my new boss and our partnership began.
She taught me countless things in our time together. Some of it was about work, most of it was about life. I asked to speak at her retirement party in May 2012, despite the fact that I hadn’t worked for her in over 10 years. I was thrown in as the middle speaker – I spoke, I laughed, I cried and I sang. She met me with a hug as I stepped down from the podium, we both cried some more and we showed 100+ people what a mentor relationship could really be.
Here is the text of that speech:
We all know Sondrea as our beloved Registrar of Butler University. We all know about her years of dedication to this Institution and her love for all of the people whose lives she has touched. We know that she bleeds Butler blue. But for all that we know, I do believe that few know her as I do. Over the years, she hired me – TWICE. For about 8 years we had offices right next to each other. And as she would say we have traveled many miles ‘on the dawg’!
-We have savored beignets in the French Quarter and went shopping
-We have visited rose farms in Portland and went shopping
-We have enjoyed ribs in Dallas and went shopping
-We have feasted on the largest baked potatoes I have ever seen in Provo and went shopping
-We congratulated runners just after they completed the Boston Marathon and went shopping
-We have collected money from one-armed bandits in Reno and spent that money when we went shopping
-And finally, we have thrown parties in Presidential Suites that we prepared for by going shopping
In addition to knowing Sondrea better than most, I have also learned more from Sondrea than most of you. Today, I would like to share a Top Ten List. The Top Ten List of things that Sondrea has taught me in the 26 years we have worked together:
10. You have to make time for work, don’t let it be the only time you make
9. There will always be at least one instructor who forgets to turn in grades, no amount of technology will ever change that, be prepared to work around it
8. Dora should be in attendance at all meetings, even if you are the only one who knows she’s there
7. It is possible to spend hours and hours in a fabric store and never tire from the experience
6. Since you have to play the game, be sure and have fun
5. There are times when even the smallest mistake is a big deal, commencement is one of those times
4. Children are the most precious gift you will ever be given, yours and everyone else’s
3. There can be MANY, MANY ways to get a job done; looking for the right way will narrow down your choices
2. You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar
1. When on a business trip, there is always enough room in your luggage for your new purchases; because you just ship your dirty clothes home!
To Sondrea (aka Dora), over the years you have worn many different hats. You have been my boss, my personal seamstress, my barometer of reasonableness, my colleague, my friend, my partner in crime and most importantly, my mentor… Ours has been a very interesting path of continuing intersections. There are really no words to convey the gratitude that I have for your willingness to give me a shot all of those years ago. To take a chance on someone who was looking for a new position at the University for all of the wrong reasons. It was a gamble for both of us. I hope it worked half as well for you as it did for me.
Today I celebrate a friend, a friend who has seen me at my best and my worst, both personally and professionally…you have encouraged me, guided me, taught me, listened to me and above all else, respected me….the simple words ‘Thank you’ seem inadequate…so, just for you…
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.
(I sang these last two line to her)
The dementia was already quite noticeable in May 2012 when she retired. I saw her a few times after that, including when I sang the full text of the song, Wind Beneath My Wings at her husband’s memorial service held in May 2013.
RIP Sondrea, you are now free to fly with the angels.
