Category: Uncategorized

Sunday, March 22nd 2020 – Day #4 of Social Distancing.

I started working from home last Thursday. A handbook for working from home procedures was created about a week before we officially “left the building”. One of the procedures was that everyone had to be available during our defined “core hours” of 9-3. I started Thursday in front of my laptop at 6a and because the “big boss” asked me to do something at 3:20 that took me until 4:45 and then I still had a pile of emails to read and response to – I didn’t get up from the dining room table until 6p. In my 12 hour day I had had lots of coffee, 3 bathroom breaks, and one 30-minute walk outside (that I took during core hours). It was not a good day. And when I realized that I probably had at least 6 weeks of this in front of me, I cried. And it was an ugly cry…

Then I told myself that I needed some procedures of my own:
1. Regardless of when I get up in the morning, the soonest I will start work will be 7a
2. Despite the fact that I have a small house, I will designate a space that is “work” and when I am in it, I will work and when I am out of that space I will not work – I also did a few things to make my work space better on Saturday
3. As I have almost every day for the last 15 months, at some point each day between 10-2 I will get up from my desk and take a 45-minute walk
4. It doesn’t matter that my “after work” location matches my “during work” location, I will be ending my work day between 3:30-4:30
5. Only true emergencies will require me to continue working past 4:30, especially since I can likely finish up early the next morning before 9a
6. I am an empathetic extrovert and as such, there will be “things” I am going to do during the day that are just a basic part of who I am – to ensure that I don’t go crazy during this time of social distancing

Extrovert vs Introvert – it surprises me how many people really don’t understand the fundamental difference between those two words. The person who is always the “life of the party” could be either and introvert or an extrovert. I have always explained the difference this way:
– Introverts re-charge their batteries and get their energy to carry-on by retreating, being by themselves, getting some quality alone time.
– Extroverts re-charge their batteries and get their energy to carry-on by being with other people

Did I mention I’m an Extrovert? And that I have Empathy?

I need to chat around the proverbial water cooler in the office – multiple times a day with multiple people. I truly want to hear what you did over the weekend. I want to hear every detail of your child’s soccer match. I will gladly listen as you describe the fear you feel about our latest work changes or how hurt you felt when co-workers forgot your birthday. And I want my hugs – the daily hug from one of our Help Desk techs and the random hug from a long-time co-worker whom I see about once a month.

During this time of social-distancing, some people who are usually “fine” from a mental health perspective, may really struggle. I am grateful for my village who has clearly recognized – maybe even before I did – how difficult this time is going to be for me. I will be on social media more now than previously. I will respond to non-emergency personal texts and calls during the work day. I will reach out to co-workers via text and email just to ask them about their weekend or how their day is going – not to be polite, but because I really want to know how they are doing.

And finally, I really would appreciate it if people would self-quarantine at home right now. I understand that not everyone can work from home, but everyone can stay at home outside of work and a weekly trip to the grocery store. If more of us would stay home now, then all of us could get back to “our normal”, sooner. And I could get more hugs.

I just hit “send” on the email announcing that I have transitioned into a new role with the high school volleyball program that I started from the ground up four years ago. My new role is that of assistant coach. I am no longer the head coach. I no longer have to schedule matches and practices or order uniforms or coordinate the spirit wear order or make sure physical forms have been turned in or find volunteers to work the door and the scorer’s table or do post-game write-ups until well after midnight, or compile stats…or…or…or!

So, now it’s time to reflect over the last four years. It is time to assess. Was I successful in my endeavor to create and maintain a boys high school volleyball program? Did I accomplish the goals I set out to accomplish? Unfortunately, I am that obsessive/compulsive and I do feel the need to evaluate this right now. So, the first step I took was backwards. I just re-read all of my previous blog posts about my high experiences coaching boys high school volleyball. Naturally, I cried. One of my earliest posts was actually about crying and how high school boys might react to a coach that tends to cry “happy tears”. Yep, I pretty much nailed that post – I wasn’t going to change and they adapted to my behavior.

So, what is success and can it be measured? Well, wins and losses can easily be measured. Final standing in tournaments and coaches polls are also easily measured. And while all athletes need to “win” sometimes, I don’t think I can evaluate the success or fail of my attempt to build a high school volleyball program, from the ground up, in four years, solely by looking at the number of matches won compared to the number of matches played.

I think school administrators would call it a success, I have received a couple of emails today stating that very directly. We doubled the number of participants from year one to year four. In four years have graduated 15 players and 5 managers from the program. Attendance numbers at home matches have risen dramatically. We won conference this year, had four players on the all-conference team, and seven players academic all-conference. We finished 9th in the state for the second year in a row. We placed six players on academic all-state and one on the all-state team this year. Our winning percentage has continued to increase each season, finishing at 75% this season.

However, we set a goal at the end of the second season to be playing on State Tournament weekend and while I thought it was a stretch goal of 2017, I was fairly confident it was an attainable goal in 2018. We didn’t make it either year. We never finished a weekend tournament as #1 or #2.

In a post from 2017, I wrote – It is my job to push them out of their comfort zones, challenge them to be better and do better, equip them to identify differences, learn how to adapt to and even embrace those differences, and to share my love, passion and knowledge of the game of volleyball with them.
And in a post from 2016, I wrote – At the conclusion of our day, I shared with you the things I want others to notice and remember about “my boys”:
1. They show respect for officials, fans, coaches, managers, opponents and teammates
2. They are good kids who are fun to watch play the game
3. They know, love and understand the game

Yep, I need look no further than my own previous posts to find my measures of success. I had no idea what I was getting into 4 years ago. It took more time, effort and energy than I every imagined. At times it took more than I thought I had to give. But the flip side is that what I have received back from the players and managers that I have had the privilege of working with over the last four years far exceeds the time, effort and energy spent working to build the program. The hugs on senior night from boys with tears in their eyes who could barely whisper “thank you”. The heart-felt thank you notes, emails, text messages and social media posts from players and managers at the conclusion of the season erase ALL the sleep-deprived nights (and days).

I don’t need wins or losses to know whether or not I have been successful. I have something so much better. I have the kids. The ones who send me texts and mention me in social media posts. The ones who stop and give me a hug every time they see me. The ones who go out of their way to speak to me. The college football player who included his one year of high school volleyball experience in the football program bio. Or the one who pulled his car over to stop and talk to me on the street. And the one who just recently said good night after summer league and then came back, because he hadn’t remembered to say thank you.

To all of my former, current and future players – you are my measure of success. The lessons and memories you take from our time together and then shape into your future and your own successes – that is my measure of success. No time spent with children is ever wasted. I am eternally grateful for the time you chose to spend with me.

Forever yours in volleyball,
Coach Angie

A few weeks ago, I attended the memorial service of my first career mentor. This woman was my mentor, before I knew what it meant to have a career mentor. We worked together for about 26 years. During that time, she hired me twice to work for her. Even in death, she had something to teach me.

I first went to work for Sondrea is 1992. I was running from an uncomfortable situation in my current job and she found me walking the halls in an effort to calm myself down. She invited me into her office where we talked for at least the next 2 hours. I am sure she had other work she should have been doing, but I felt like the most important thing she had to do that afternoon. As luck would have it, she had recently failed a search for a newly created position in her department and she thought I would be perfect for the job. Truth be told, I would have taken any position she could offer. In reality, I was perfect for the job. She needed someone to come in and re-engineer many of the business processes for her department. She needed someone who could look at the work in a totally different way. My complete inexperience in her department business, made me the perfect person for the job. Within 6 weeks she was my new boss and our partnership began.

She taught me countless things in our time together. Some of it was about work, most of it was about life. I asked to speak at her retirement party in May 2012, despite the fact that I hadn’t worked for her in over 10 years. I was thrown in as the middle speaker – I spoke, I laughed, I cried and I sang. She met me with a hug as I stepped down from the podium, we both cried some more and we showed 100+ people what a mentor relationship could really be.

Here is the text of that speech:
We all know Sondrea as our beloved Registrar of Butler University. We all know about her years of dedication to this Institution and her love for all of the people whose lives she has touched. We know that she bleeds Butler blue. But for all that we know, I do believe that few know her as I do. Over the years, she hired me – TWICE. For about 8 years we had offices right next to each other. And as she would say we have traveled many miles ‘on the dawg’!
-We have savored beignets in the French Quarter and went shopping
-We have visited rose farms in Portland and went shopping
-We have enjoyed ribs in Dallas and went shopping
-We have feasted on the largest baked potatoes I have ever seen in Provo and went shopping
-We congratulated runners just after they completed the Boston Marathon and went shopping
-We have collected money from one-armed bandits in Reno and spent that money when we went shopping
-And finally, we have thrown parties in Presidential Suites that we prepared for by going shopping

Today I celebrate a friend, a friend who has seen me at my best and my worst, both personally and professionally…you have encouraged me, guided me, taught me, listened to me and above all else, respected me….the simple words ‘Thank you’ seem inadequate…so, just for you…
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.
(I sang these last two line to her)

The dementia was already quite noticeable in May 2012 when she retired. I saw her a few times after that, including when I sang the full text of the song, Wind Beneath My Wings at her husband’s memorial service held in May 2013.

RIP Sondrea, you are now free to fly with the angels.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Dear Team,

I don’t know about you, but I had a very fitful night’s sleep. I replayed last night’s match over and over again in my mind. While I am emotionally and mentally tired today, I suspect you are all physically tired as well. I don’t like the idea of not getting closure as a team on last night’s match, yet I want to be able to focus on upcoming matches when we get back together again after Spring Break. So, I decided to use my blog to write you a letter.

Last Saturday, we played two matches and lost them both. At the conclusion of our day, I shared with you the things I want others to notice and remember about “my boys”:
1. They show respect for officials, fans, coaches, managers, opponents and teammates
2. They are good kids who are fun to watch play the game
3. They know, love and understand the game
And I let you know how disappointed I was in your performance on Saturday, not because you lost, but because you didn’t exhibit any of those traits.

Fast forward to last night. We played a long and intense 5-set match. The official record indicates a loss (18-25, 25-21, 25-23, 23-25, 10-15), but we are so much more than that. According to Butler University’s head volleyball coach, we are an incredible 2nd year program. She went on to say that we played a great match and we were so much fun to watch. Our new favorite official said she hopes that she has the opportunity to work more of our games, because you are a great group of boys. And the opposing coach just smiled and said, “What a difference a year makes”.

I see many 5 game sets in our future this season – some we will win, some we will lose – but in all of them we will learn, grow and improve. We coined a new phrase last night during a time-out…We are One. Meaning we are no longer 11 players, 2 managers and 2 coaches in a program, or even 6 players on a court. Rather, we are one cohesive group, with the same objectives, playing for the growth and benefit of our program. Along the way, there will be individual accomplishments and we will celebrate those, together. Along the way, there will be momentary lapses in what others notice about us, it will not match what is outlined above, but we will re-group and fix it, together. We will win together, we will lose together, we will be together.

I am sorry that I did not make a point to tell you how proud I was of you last night. Last night you delivered on all of the things I want people to notice and remember about “my boys and my girls“.

Yours in volleyball,
Coach Angie

[An entry from January 10, 2016, that I forgot to post]

I spent yesterday as a spectator at a boys club volleyball tournament. And while I am pleased to be able to report that Boo had his best performance yet, since returning to the court after a serious shoulder injury, this post isn’t about my son or any team with which I am connected. Rather, this post is about being reminded of a very valuable coaching lesson – a lesson that all coaches should share with their team.

Yesterday’s tournament was very small. It consisted of only 8 teams, playing on two side-by-side courts. With so few teams it was hard not to see each team play at least one match. And despite the small number of teams, there were a few outstanding individual players and some exciting moments of good volleyball for even the casual volleyball enthusiast to enjoy.

However, the most remarkable team from my perspective didn’t have an outstanding individual, nor did they have any exceptionally exciting moments. What they had were rotations where the setter came from left-back on serve receive. What they had were nine young men who likely had less competitive volleyball experience than every other team at the tournament. They had was a coach who likely has never coached a nationally recruited athlete and who probably doesn’t have any personal collegiate playing experience.

What this team had – was a game plan. A game plan that both coach and players knew and understood. A game plan that they ALL executed to perfection. Re commented that this team wasn’t just “reading from the same play book, they were on the exact same page in that play book”. The team didn’t finish first, but they finished much higher than the talent of the individual players would have indicated. Anyone can take a talented group of athletes, call it a team and win some matches – but what do you really have in the end – I contend that it is NOT a good team. It takes discipline, desire, preparation and hard work to take an average group of athletes and turn them into a good team. It takes a coach willing to spend extra time and be invested in her players and figuring out how to play to their strengths.

Thanks for the reminder!

I usually steer clear from conversations involving politics or religion, especially on social media. But I am making an exception today. My comments below refer to Governor Mike Pence (Indiana) signing into law the RFRA act on March 26, 2015.

I am the oldest of 5 children and as such I was expected to fill some very specific roles within my family as I was growing up. Starting at about age 11, one of those roles was to watch out for my brothers. This role encompassed many things. I made sure they completed their chores as well as the extra tasks that mom and dad assigned each of us every day. I made sure they ate breakfast and lunch. I made sure that the two older boys included their younger brother when they went out to play. I also made sure that whatever my brothers did in any given day couldn’t be misinterpreted by anyone who might see or hear about it. That meant that when my brothers were outside playing I was thinking 2 or 3 steps ahead of them to ensure that the stay-at-home moms on our street (and there were several) would only have good reports to give my mom and dad every evening about the things that went on while they were at work.

So, if I knew at age 11 (almost 12) that I had to play the role of making sure that what my brothers did was understood by our neighbors and not misinterpreted, it seems to me that someone in our state government has the role of making sure that our legislators actions are understood by those in our state as well as all of our neighboring states. Just like the original intent of my brothers behavior was up to the interpretation of the neighbors who saw it, the actions of the Indiana legislators are up to the interpretation of those who have seen or heard about it.

I can’t believe that no one in our state legislator could have predicted the fallout from signing this bill into law. So, the next logical assumption is that our governor was informed about the fallout and chose to sign the bill anyway. It defies logic that any governor would want to portray the people of their state as ignorant, backward and intolerant. And it certainly defies every ounce of common sense that I have ever possessed to think that a governor would do something that would so negatively impact the economic situation of their state when countless entities refuse to travel to or have conferences and conventions in our state.

How can someone like a governor, with countless aides and assistants and other people whose sole job it is to make sure the governor looks good, not understand what I was able to comprehend as an almost 12-year-old child?

Simple things are just that…simple. They aren’t earth-shattering and I could make do without them. The value of each is very subjective from person to person. Here are some of the simple things that make my life a little better and that make me smile:
(in no particular order)

A new water heater. A really hot shower works wonders for the mind as well as the body. Apparently after 16+ years you don’t notice that hot isn’t really hot anymore when it diminishes over time.

A stadium chair/bleacher seat. It was a gift from some long time volleyball parents. They couldn’t believe I never owned one. After spending only a few games using the new seat, my hips and back couldn’t believe I never owned one, either. The fact that they had it embroidered for Ritter and personalized it with Coach Strati, made it even better.

My iPhone. Yes, I said it, my iPhone. I was wrong on this one and my kids were right, I should not have fought it for so long. A good phone allows you to be as connected or as disconnected as you want to be.

Boxed wine. So convenient and so much less waste. And let’s be honest, I am not that much of a wine connoisseur anyway!

Dinner ready when I get home. This doesn’t happen very often, which is why it makes the list! It is even better when Re puts the meal in the crock pot or Boo cooks for us.

Email from my brothers. These would be the emails they send because they have good news to share or just want to say “Hey”. We have hectic schedules, busy lives and we live across multiple time-zones, so talking to each other is not always feasible. Nothing makes me smile more and know that all is right with the world than a quick note from one of my brothers.

What are some of the simple things in your life that make you smile?

It’s New Year’s Eve and for people thinking further than tonight’s festivities, thoughts are probably focused on ways to improve in 2015. Improvement comes in many forms, but at this time of the year improvement usually means changes that focus on a healthier lifestyle which pretty much leaves the door wide open for just about anything!

I would definitely benefit from improvements to my diet, my (almost non-existent) exercise routine, and my work-home balance. However, I have opted to embrace an improvement of a different kind. I hope to improve my writing skills and my personal sanity by having a blog. A blog that will hopefully serve as a prelude to my big dream of writing a book.

For over 10 years I have been saying “some day I am going to write a book”. Not just any book, but a book that parents of high school athletes could read to help prepare them for the next fours years. A book that high school coaches could read to help them understand what being the parent of a high school athlete is all about. In my head it is a two-part book. One part for parents, the other part for coaches. My hope would be that both parties read the entire book. In fairness to my son, a current high school freshmen, I have always said that my book will have to wait until he is out of high school.

So why a blog and why now? A few of reasons. I clearly need to test the waters on this write a book idea. Someone other than the folks who have been on the other end of one of my long and rambling emails, should get the opportunity to give an opinion on my writing, and a blog seemed like an easy first step. Second, in an interesting turn of events, I find myself a current high school coach, so there is a slight chance that my original book idea may have to change. And finally, several events of 2014 have suggested (loudly) that there is no time like the present.

Cheers to 2015!